The Stowaway

stow⋅a⋅way 
noun: a person who hides aboard a ship or airplane in order to obtain free transportation or elude pursuers.

Up until now, my sister's dog Charlie hasn't shown a whole a lot of clever ingenuity - which is most definitely a trait of the Italian Greyhound breed. We just assumed he was more the lover, not the fighter type. In fact, my dad likes to say my Iggy Lexus is the smart and mean one and Charlie is the dumb and sweet one. That characterization rang true until Charlie did something very mischievous this past weekend...

Laurie was packing up her car for a little road trip. She was only going to be gone one day, but that one day was clearly too long for Charlie, who is quite attached to his new mommy. As Laurie finished packing the car, she went back in the house to say goodbye. She called for him several times but he never came to her - which is very unCharlie. She went back outside and called his name some more, but there was still no sign of Charlie. She was just about to really panic when she noticed two little eyes peering out from the TRUNK of her car!

Our clever Charlie had climbed in on his own accord and made himself a little bed amidst all the bags and clutter. He was apparently going along for the ride, no matter what his momma said!

And since Laurie is the budding photographer (she was actually on her way to a photo shoot), she whipped out her camera and snapped these priceless images!

Welcome to the party, Charlie! We were wondering when you were going to show up!

PK

P.S. Lexus says now that you've shown some backbone and outsmarted the humans, you can be her boyfriend.

Spring Has Sprung!

I love springtime. I always have. I love how every living thing seems to perk up and open its eyes simultaneously. Not to mention, springtime also signals that warmer weather is on its way. So even if we're not pulling out the flip-flops just yet, you know it's only a matter of time.

All last week on the Paper Crafts Connection blog, we were promoting our latest special issue Stamp It! Cards. Lots of fun, lots of free giveaways. Since last Friday marked the first day of spring, I had everyone leave a comment telling me their favorite spring-inspired quote.

Here's a few of my favorites:

"Spring makes me feel all flowery inside." ~Alyssa, age 5

"A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." ~Maya Angelou

"The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring." ~Bern Williams

"No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn." ~Hal Borland

“Close your eyes and do not peek, and I’ll rub spring across your cheek. Smooth as satin, soft and sleek, close your eyes and do not peek.” ~Eileen Fisher

And here's a few of my favorite springtime photos:

Holly and I at the Dallas Arboretum, March 2006.

Posing in front of my favorite flower, the yellow rose of Texas, Washington, D.C, 2006

My cousin's daughter McCall sitting in a field of Texas bluebonnets, April 2007

Celebrating my girlfriends' birthdays last spring (From left: me, Ann, Jeana and Andrea). Since Ann and Andrea share the same birthday (April 12), we all went to dinner to celebrate. Don't we look all spring-y in our pastel outfits?

Here's to lovely spring!
PK

Look Who's 30, Flirty and Fabulous!

Happy birthday to our little St. Patty's baby who doesn't look a day over 28...well, maybe 29!

For each petal on the shamrock.
This brings a wish your way
Good health, good luck, and happiness
For today and every day.

Hope you've enjoyed your walk down memory lane!
Love, PK

Best Birthday Card Ever!

My sister Laurie has always had fun with her Hallmark greeting cards. I think she inherits this gift from my Dad. He's been known to stock up on discounted cards and then send them out on random occasions like half birthdays, June 25 (the other Christmas) and the ever exciting Tuesday.

So when my sister's card arrived this week, I couldn't wait to open up the envelope. Would it congratulate me on my recent adoption of a third world baby or pat me on my back for my successful completion of menopause. (I kid you not, we've covered both of these in the past!)

Luckily, she actually got the occasion right this time - my birthday. And while I appreciate the sweet and sappy cards from my Mom and Grandma, there's nothing like getting a card that makes you laugh so hard you almost wet yourself. I'll let you be the judge...

Inside: "Wishing you a great big happy birthday."

Maybe it isn't P.I.M.P. (Pee-in-my-pants) funny, but it sure struck a cord with me. Perhaps it's because I envision myself saying this one day. Considering I just went through menopause, it will be here before you know it!

Thanks for the belly laugh, Lou!
PK

Happy 75th Birthday, Grandma!

Gwen Buehler Smith - 75 Years Young

Four children + 11 grandchildren + 1 great-grandchild = A Lifetime of Priceless Memories

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Love, PK

Someday My Prince Will Come

Aunt Laurie called PK today to say she was adopting a handsome puppy named Dreamer. Since the news came on Valentine's Day, Lexus let out a sigh and said,

"Fairy tales really do come true."

Happy Cupid Day!

PK

Are You Having Diva Day?

Today I had the opportunity to be on the online crafting show Diva Craft Lounge. Hosted by Danielle Forsgren and Rayme Royale, the show literally has a global reach as they now broadcast in 95 countries.

With so many exciting things going on at Paper Crafts, we had no trouble filling the time - in fact I think we went over. We talked about the magazine's new blog Paper Crafts Connection and our new special issue Stamp It! Cards.

If you're interested in hearing me gab (and have 20 minutes to spare!), click here. If not, no hard feelings. Although if you're related to me, it's your duty to listen and tell me if I talked too fast, sounded nervous, nasally or Southern.

Have a Diva Day!
PK

Karma

With all my recent car troubles (see bulleted list below), this little story brought a smile to my face. Now if only this karma could find my insurance rep, who so quickly (and gleefully!) denied my windshield claim.

"The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him." ~Russell Baker

PK's Car Woes (as of Jan. 4, 2009):

• replaced front bumper (due to accident involving black ice)
• replaced driver's side rear hubcap (unknown cause)
• when leaned down to examine new hubcap, I noticed a undiagnosed crack in rear bumper ($#%@!)
• oh, and the tire man said I had no tread on my front two tires (even though I bought said crappy tires less than a year ago)
• replaced rear bumper (due to accident involving black ice)
• when I picked up car from body shop (second time in two weeks), I noticed a foot-long crack in windshield that wasn't there when I dropped it off (due to "invisible rock chip" - at least that's what the insurance man is calling it)
• replaced front tires (did I mention my old tires were less than a year old?)
• still need to replace windshield (this will be my third windshield in 2 1/2 years)

"A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'"

Isn't karma a funny thing?
PK

Selling with the Stars

I've been a fan of ABC's Dancing with the Stars since the very first season. I love how they can turn uncoordinated, washed-up stars into overnight dancing sensations with a little bit of training and a very good make-up and wardrobe department. And the spray tanning doesn't hurt either.

So you can imagine my total surprise when my own uncoordinated sister Holly (sorry, babe) announced to the family that she too was going to be on this hit reality show. Excuse, moi? How does a pharmaceutical rep from Dallas get on THE Dancing with the Stars? This girl has always been lucky (her birthday is on St. Patrick's Day), but c'mon!

Holly has always had a thing for fancy gowns!

Turns out, we were all mistaken. It wasn't Dancing with the Stars she was going to be on. It's Selling with the Stars. It's a new dance show sweeping the pharmaceutical industry. It's where attractive and toned reps battle it out to see which product performs the best under pressure. Holly just sent me a demo video to preview. I guess their pitching the networks next week. Can you imagine my little sis tango-ing her way to the top. In the world of pharmaceuticals, nothing is impossible!

Enjoy the show!
PK



P.S. In all seriousness, Holly spent last week in Las Vegas at her company's annual sales conference. They thought it would be fun to put this little video together to motivate everyone to sell. When it came to picking their star, Holly, who has some acting under her belt, was the obvious choice. They even flew her up to New York for the shoot. Like I said, nothing is impossible in the world of pharmaceuticals!

A Brand New Day

I for one am super happy Mercury is no longer in retrograde (Jan. 11-Feb. 1). I blame this cosmic force for many of my recent mishaps.

Explained to me by Paper Crafts editor-in-chief (and budding astrologer) Jennifer Schaerer, when Mercury is in retrograde (essentially moving backward in the zodiac), things like communication and travel can suddenly turn topsy turvy and massive chaos ensues.

Lucky for me, we at Paper Crafts decided to launch our new blog on Feb. 2 - and so far, communication and travel on the World Wide Web has been pretty... well, normal. Hopefully this is a sign of good things to come!

Speaking of good things... our new blog Paper Crafts Connection is off to a very good start! After building it stone by stone (or should I say link by link) it's nice to finally unveil it and have it be so well received by our readers. Now if we can just keep the momentum going!

Here's a preview of our new blog banner. We really wanted to stress the word "connection", so we came up with the idea of two cans connected by a string. It's just like the telephone game you use to play as a kid, except our version has you "connecting" through the magic of cyber space. We're also unveiling our new black and white team photos. Aren't we a cute bunch?

In addition to a new look, we've themed a few days of the week, so be sure to stop by for "Magazine Monday", "With the Pros Wednesday" and "Freebie Friday". We'll also squeeze in cool projects and sources of inspiration from our latest issues, as well as fun contests and giveaways. So what are you waiting for? Mosey on over to Paper Crafts Connection and tell me what you think. I'd love to hear your opinion!

Cheers!
PK

P.S. For all of you FRIENDS fanatics like me, do you remember the episode where Ross wants to move into Ugly Naked Guy's apartment? Conveniently located across from Monica's, Joey gets excited about the prospect and says, "Hey, then we can do the telephone thing! You know, where you have a can and we have a can and it's connected by a string." My darling Chandler then replies, "Or we could do the actual telephone thing!" Gosh, I miss FRIENDS!

Remember the Time When We Went to Buca di Beppo's...

I just returned from sunny California where me and my Paper Crafts peeps descended upon the Anaheim Convention Center for the annual Craft & Hobby Association (CHA) trade show. While I have many funny stories to tell ("Remember the time when...) and a whole memory card of pictures to share, I thought I would dedicate an entire blog post to two gems I found in the ladies room of the Anaheim Buca di Beppo's.

If you've never been to a Buca Italian restaurant, they pride themselves on their generous "family style" portions and irreverent humor. They even have a table set aside for the Pope himself - just in case he should find himself in America and craving some good ol' fashion Italian cuisine.

So when me and the PC gals found ourselves at Buca's the other night (with the very entertaining gals from Technique Tuesday), I couldn't wait to go to the little girls room! Because even though the restaurant wall pictures are a tad suggestive, they're a bit more risque in the bathrooms. (I'm assuming this rings true in the little boys room, although I don't have actual, physical proof. Let me do some more investigative research and I'll get back to you!)

Aren't these great? Doesn't it make you want to go to a Buca's and take your own vintage photos? And if a good bra and padded underwear is all I need to catch a man, I better get shopping!

PK

In Memoriam

Robert Harold Smith (1919-2009)

"In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of the stars I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night."

~The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Thank you for being a loving husband, father and grandfather to all of us girls. Mom will always be your "Charlie" and we'll always be your "girlers".

Love,
PK

Don't Mess With Texas

As I was watching all of the inauguration coverage from today, I had to smile at this e-mail that fortuitously landed in my inbox. President Bush had just uttered this sentence at a press conference in Midland, TX: "We are back in the state of Texas and we are here to stay."

So maybe W. isn't fading off into the sunset like we all assumed. Maybe he has big plans for the Lone Star State... or should I call it The Mighty Republic of Texas? I'll let you be the judge.

A Proud Texan,
PK

********************************************************

Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union (Reference the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.)

We Texans love y'all, but we'll probably have to take action since B. Hussein Obama won the election. We'll miss you too...

Here is what can happen:

#1: Barack Hussein Obama becomes President of the United States, Texas immediately secedes from the Union.

#2: George W. Bush will become the President of the Republic of Texas (hehe).

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry.

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense Industry - we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas" will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry will have to figure out a way to keep them warm....

6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications--small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Miconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Medical Care - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. Dallas has some of the best hospitals in the United States.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: University of Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT (University of North Texas), Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway.

9. We have a ready supply of workers. We could just open the border when we need some more.

10. We have essential control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over Chuck Norris and a couple of Texas Rangers.

12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food...

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama:

Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications.

You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming.

Signed, The People of Texas

P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you something to think about!

SLEEP WELL TONIGHT! THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPON YOU!

One Nation Under God

All in the Family!

This past August we held the Smith-Dame Family Reunion up in the gorgeous McCall, Idaho. I've already posted a few pictures from this fun Labor Day weekend, but I recently got my hands on some more great ones, so I thought I would show off the photography skills of one Cristi Dame. Despite the chilly temperatures that day, she was able to capture a lot of love!

We were so cold, we were all in favor of huddling close!

The predetermined color scheme was red, orange and yellow. Somehow me and my sisters all picked orange shirts, even though they came off more red in the pictures.

The Not-So-Orange Smith Sisters

My dad was totally rockin' his orange t-shirt. He obviously went the casual route. If you want to see a classic picture of my parents, make sure to check out their engagement photo at the top of my blog. I think they look pretty good for 53 and 55! Ssh! Don't tell anyone!

Here's my aunt and uncle and three of their five boys. Photographer Cristi actually set up the shot and then gave the camera to Tanner's girlfriend Darlene (below).

Ah! The happy couple! My sly aunt made sure Cristi took plenty of pictures in hopes an engagement would be announced shortly thereafter. No hurry, kids - this perfect picture isn't going anywhere!

My grandma and her handsome grandsons - Tanner, Brooks and Taylor

And I saved the best for last! Here's a cute one of youngest grandchild (Carter) and my grandma.

Thanks again, Cristi! Your amazing photos will be treasured for years to come. Lexus will be more cooperative next time!

PK

The Big Bang of '09

A week ago today I was in a pretty scary car accident. Rest assured, I'm completely fine and my car's injuries are relatively minor. I've never been in a serious car accident before, so this one really shook me to my core. And to think it all started with a beautiful Sunday afternoon drive...

I was heading up Provo Canyon, which I have to say, is one of the most picturesque drives in all of Utah. If you've ever been to or seen pictures of Robert Redford's Sundance, Provo Canyon is nestled right in this mountainous paradise. I've been driving up and down this canyon road since I was a freshman at BYU. My grandparents used to live in Heber (22 miles north of Provo), so I would frequently come up for Sundays dinners, long weekends or whenever I needed some space from my roommates.

Anyway, I digress... So when I woke up last Sunday to sunny skies and no snow, I decided it was a perfect day to go on a little "walkie-walk" (our family's term for some good ol' fashion me-time). I was enjoying my ascent up the mountain, as the roads were clean and clear. I had just reached Deer Creek Dam and the two-lane road began to bend and wind, curving to the mountain slope.

Suddenly I hit some black ice and completely lost control of my vehicle. I ended up swerving into the other lane and nearly hit an oncoming truck. Luckily, he was in control of his vehicle, so he was able to swerve and miss me. As I hit the brakes, I did a complete 360* and it occurred to me that the only way I was going to stop was if I hit something... hard. And I did. I came to a complete and abrupt stop once my driver's side came into full contact with a nearby snow bank. Thankfully, the deep powder of this bank completely absorbed the brunt of the impact so no damage was done to my driver's side. My front bumper is another story...

In my traumatic swerving and braking, somehow my front bumper completely came apart...

But at least my newly-repaired headlights were spared!

Once I came to my senses and realized I was, in fact, okay, I said a quick prayer of gratitude and then concentrated on the problem at hand - little me stuck in a deep snow bank. How do I get out? Fortunately, I didn't have to wait long. I nice couple stopped and fished me out with a rope and their 4-wheel drive truck. Their friends were nice enough to block both sides of traffic (and pick up bits and pieces of my former bumper).

Once I was out, I pulled over to access my damages. Then another couple stopped to ask if I was okay to drive, could they call someone for me, etc. Another man stopped and said he saw the whole thing from across the lake where he was hunting. He lifted my hood, checked the engine and then made sure there was no snow in my exhaust. I came across so many genuinely nice people that afternoon. If anything, it did restore my faith in humanity a bit.

So to all of you complete strangers who stopped to help, inquire and calm this frazzled driver, you'll never know how grateful I am for your selfless service. And a big thank you to my attentive guardian angel (who according to my mom was working overtime that day). I'll try to keep the rest of 2009 relatively safe and uneventful.

PK

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
My dog was going berserk; perhaps she saw a mouse!

My suitcases were packed and placed with care,
In hopes my ride to the airport would soon be there.

When out on my porch there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Uncle Eric and his awaiting SUV were there.

Lexus had been drugged for our impending flight,
But a Xanax and Benadryl left her with plenty of fight.

As I reached for her collar and shouted in vain,
My temper got the best of me and out came these names:

Now Lexus, now devil dog, now bad spawn - you listen,
We have a plane to get on, so you better stop your hissin’!

So into your travel bag you go, my little beast,
Just be glad it’s not a cage or a crate at least.

Her eyes – how they mocked me with an angry glare,
Her teeth bared and biting; her nostrils so flared!

A vicious growl and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
Grabbed her by her neck, then turned with a jerk.

And laying my fingers aside from her mouth and nose,
I gave her a quick push and into the bag she dove!

Quick went the zipper, the triumph was mine,
We arrived at the airport and just in time.

But I heard her exclaim, as we soared through the night,
"You think you’ve won, but we still have a return flight!"

Please pray for me!
PK

Congrats, Grad!

This weekend I flew home to Dallas for my sister's MBA graduation from Southern Methodist University (SMU). For the last two years Holly has had to juggle quite the busy schedule. By day she was the bubbly pharmaceutical sales rep and by night she played the serious graduate student.

Friday night we broke bread at Holly's favorite restaurant Hibicus. Luck would have it, there was a cancellation in one of their private dining rooms, so we were able to have a nice, quiet meal with the family and a few of Holly's co-workers (who were so nice to pick up the tab!) Thanks Derek!

One of the nice things about attending a smaller school (and graduating in December) is there was only 900 doctorate, masters and undergraduate students receiving their diplomas on Saturday night. We had no problem picking Holly out of the crowd and zooming in on her with Big Louise (my sister's fancy camera).

After a record-breaking graduation ceremony (only 2 hours!), the business school hosted a small reception for the graduates and their families. My Dad loved this because there was plenty of finger foods and drinks to go around. (Translation: he didn't have to pay for dinner that night! He also managed to stumble across the graduate t-shirt table and all I will say is "While the cat's away...")

We thought it would be fun to poke fun at the fact that I'm the only Smith sister who DOESN'T have her master's degree. Just call me "Underachiever PK". You can find me and my lame bachelor's degree cowering in the corner with all the other slackers.

Congrats, Holly! We're so proud of you!
PK

P.S. Holly, since I bought you a graduation gift, does this mean I'm off the hook for Christmas?