Monday, August 3, 2009

Snakes. Why'd it Have to be Snakes?

You've heard of the movie Snakes on a Plane, right? Well, here's a sneak peek at its sequel, Snakes in a Laundry Room. We just finished filming this past Saturday, so look for it in a theater near you before the year is out. It's going to be huge blockbuster! Especially the scene where the unassuming girl comes home to her little puppy and discovers this thing wrapped around the control knob of her water heater. The look on her face is so life-like! It's absolutely priceless!

So the plot thickens when the girl picks up the phone and dials the after-hours maintenance hotline for her apartment complex. After listening to a two-minute recording telling her to stay on the line if it is in fact an emergency, a very annoyed operator picks up the call:

Operator: "After-Hours Maintenance. What is your emergency?"
Girl: "Yeah, hi there, um... there's a snake in my house."
Operator: "What did you say?"
Operator: "Well, then that is a emergency, isn't it?"

The operator then assures the frantic girl that maintenance is on their way and that she should in no way attempt to pick up or remove the snake from its coiled position. You think?!

Frantic girl then calls all her friends and family (who are mostly asleep) to share her most disturbing news. Most of them tell her to get the hell out of there, but frantic girl doesn't want to leave Slither alone - especially when he could slither away to some new hidden place.

But luckily after only an hour's wait, the maintenance man and his very enthusiastic teenage son arrived at frantic girl's doorstep with a bucket and long, snake-wielding tools in hand. Frantic girl even overhears the kid say, "This is so freakin' cool, Dad!"

The climax of the movie occurs when teenage boy reaches for Slither with his pincher tool and Slither sneaks behind the water heater! After shouting out a profanity (which I can't reveal since this is a PG-13 movie!), the kid flexes his muscle a bit and moves the nearby washing machine to get a better look. Once he does, he discovers a drainage hole coming from the apartment above. But since Slither entered the laundry room from this hole, he slithers back in before the boy can utter more profanity. Seeing the predicament, frantic girl suggests a coat hanger and quickly goes to retrieve one from her closet. After that, things happen very quickly! Coat hanger is inserted, Slither darts out with a vengeance and kid snatches up his prize with his bare hands!

Then the dad (the actual maintenance supervisor) contributes to the evening by taking out his phone to snap a few pictures. Slither doesn't like the flash, so he once again escapes the clutches of his captor. Luckily the kid has quick reflexes and traps Slither with his menacing tools.

Once inside the white bucket, Slither thrashes about and his eyes begin to glow an eerie red. As the boy carries Slither away, the movie ends with this caption: "Where is Samuel A. Jackson when you need him?"


Director's Note: No reptiles were harmed in the making of this movie.

See you at the movies!


rae said...


Kalyn said...

Oh my goodness. That is completely terrifying! Tell Lexus she needs to protect you from these things. Haha

Megan said...

This is the stuff that nightmares are made of, P. I'm so sorry you had such an experience. Yuck!

Michelle said...

There is only one thing I hate more than scary movies and it's a snake....any kind. If you could have seen me reading this...I had my hand up to block said snake, and read the plot around my hand.

I am terrified of snakes and I can't even look at them without being so scared that I want to vomit. I would have packed my bags and moved that night. Kudos to you for hanging out with the snake. I would have called 911 to report my own heart attack!

Anonymous said...

Eww! Eww! Ewwwwwww! I'm glad you and the girl are safe again.


Linda Beeson said...

You sound way too calm as you tell this story but my grandsons would have thought it was way cool too.